Why can't I understand what you are trying to tell me??!!!

 A Celcom advertisement in Penang..

Anyone can guess what it means??

For me, Penang is the like best place on earth. I love it so much because it is advanced, the food is awesome and I m from Penang!! It is a state dominated by Hokkien people, therefore most of us speak Hokkien, a type of Chinese dialect. So, if one who stays in Penang but cannot understand or speak Hokkien, it is consider as “weird”. Hence, I speak Hokkien too but not really in a fluent way because Hokkien is only a type of language which I will use when I am communicating with someone older or when I m ordering food.  Mandarin is still my mother tongue.

Before I move to KL, I m so proud of myself being a Penang Chinese because in my opinion, most of the Chinese in Penang can speaks “normal” and "better" mandarin. (No Offense to Chinese in other states ok??Just my personal opinion..) This is mainly because whenever I meet some other Chinese from other states, especially from Ipoh and KL, the way they speak Mandarin is totally different from the way I speak. They have a very strong influence of Cantonese (a type of Chinese dialect commonly spoke in KL and Ipoh) in their mandarin.. For example, my friend in KL will say “naturally” as “生成” but I will say “天生”. Hence, there will be sometime where I really cannot understand the terms they are using during conversation because it is actually direct translation from Cantonese.  **FYI, I am now complaint by other friends that my Mandarin has very strong influence of Hokkien too!! Am i?

In fact, I learn Cantonese through watching Hong Kong TVB drama series. Thus, I speak in Hong Kong style instead of Malaysian style and my friend laugh at me all the time when I speak Cantonese because it is weird. Sometimes I actually wonder why Malaysian Cantonese is so different from Hong Kong’s. I have a funny story from one of my friend who visited Hong Kong last year. So, after she finished her shopping, she went into a café and ordered a drink. However, the waitress forgot to give her a straw and they start their funny conversation. (all in Cantonese)

My friend:  “水草，唔该!!”  Can I get a straw please?

(At the same time, she looked around and realized that everyone was looking at her weirdly. )

Waitress: “有啲咩可以帮你啊?” Can I help u?

My friend: “我要一枝水草..”  I need a straw.

(The waitress do not understand what she requesting and reply,)

Waitress: “水草? 水草是咩来? 可以形容下吗?” Can you please briefly describe the items that you want?

(the waitress interpret it as water grass because 水is water and 草is grass. So in her point of view, how can water and grass be an item?) 

My friend was so pissed off that time because a cafe waitress cannot even understand what “水草”is.  So, she pointed to the drink and use her hand to show a long plastic tube which is use to suck the drink. 

My friend: “水草你都唔知? 点做餐厅啊? 水草就是个啲长长塑胶管啊..无理由你唔知啊..” How can you don't know what straw is? The long plastic tube we use it to drink water..

The waitress finally understands what she asking for and immediately laughs at my friend.

Waitress:  “哦，你要揾吸管是不是?!!”  Oohh, are you looking for straw?

At that point of time, my friend realized that they actually call straw differently and she was so embarrassed. She also got a lesson- always adapt to their culture and language whenever you are in a new place.

Sue